Self-Composting, and Thoughts on Work — Chuck Hansen: humorist...

“But men labor under a mistake. The better part of the man is soon plowed into the soil for compost. By a seeming fate, commonly called necessity, they are employed, as it says in an old book, laying up treasures which moth and rust will corrupt and thieves break through and steal. It is a fool's life, as they will find when they get to the end of it, if not before."

- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

When our kids were little, Stacy and I rolled the dice and purchased mail-order pets for the educational benefit of our children: a colony of ants of southwestern United States extraction (“DO NOT release your ants; they are not native to most of America and DO NOT have a role in your local ecosystem!”) that arrived in our mailbox in the heat of June.

Once in their new home, a pebbly moonscape built around a plastic mound too steep by half, our ants immediately hurled themselves into their labors, spending their brief time on Earth working like dogs to build a semi-elaborate tunnel system.

For hours, we’d watch with 7-year-old Daniel and 5-year-old Madison as the ants struggled toward the top of the hill with a huge boulder in their jaws, only to lose their footing (often thanks to a bump from a colleague) and tumble hundreds of ant-stories down to the rocky bottom of the container.

As foreshadowed in the instructions, however, within three weeks of their arrival, the pitiful carcasses of the once energetic go-getters lay strewn across their life’s work, in some cases still gripping a pebble in their pinchers.

It reminded me of the guy who works day and night and weekends too at a widget company, clawing his way to vice president, and then dies, and his obituary headline isn’t “Father of two dies” or “Devoted husband dies” or “Man who tried to find meaning in life dies.” Instead, the obit headline reads: “Widget executive dies” and somehow, even in death, the workaholic’s obsession overpowers all other facets of his life.

………………………

This was an excerpt from my 2005 book Build Your Castles in the Air: Thoreau’s Inspiring Advice for Success in Business (and Life). I originally wrote this piece in 2003, when I was 41, still middle-aged in career years. I am now 62. While there were times throughout my career that I worked long hours, I think I also made deliberate choices to close the laptop / desktop / parchment scroll and head home to be present for my family.

For some it may come as a surprise that this is a difficult balancing act for men. Women certainly have a difficult challenge balancing a career and family, particularly given the unfair expectations about the role they should play at home. But men also labor under some difficult expectations, and for a lot of us, it always feels like we’re in the wrong place.

If we are at work, we feel guilty for not being home with their family; if we are at home, we feel guilty that we are not at work, fighting to move up in our organization and providing for our family, now and for the future.

I’m not comparing the challenge that men face and women, and I’m sure not all men feel this constant combination of guilt and pressure. But I’m also surprised sometimes how surprising this revelation can be.

In any case, in 2003 I was not a vice president of anything and, now in 2025, I am still not a vice president of anything. Was this because I chose family over work? Maybe a teeny little bit; more likely I’m not inherently “vice-presidential material,” and I did not choose to change myself or my presentation of myself in the ways necessary to project “leadership presence.”

And in any any case, it is irrelevant to the point of the original essay. I know lots of non-VP people who wrap themselves around the axle of others’ or society’s expectations, and in the end perhaps regret taking that path. Whether one is on the ant farm leadership track or any other track, it is never a bad idea to ask what’s it all for, and whether that goal aligns with one’s true values.

This wasn’t mean to be a downer post, and it’s really not. It’s about the potential upsides of an independent approach to living life. And it’s about mail-order ant farms too! (Which you probably should burn when it seems all the ants are dead, just to be sure they don’t sneak out into your local ecosystem.)

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