Coach: I was feeling GREAT in August, when we were part of the Atlantic Mid-Coastal Conference…
Squall: The storied AMCC…
Coach: … but then PENCIL-NECK here cut a deal to drop us into the Pan-Great Plains Pacific Northwest Gulf Coastal Conference, and now I got no idea what the hell is goin’ on.
Read MorePresident Biden convened a meeting of America’s political leaders - former President Trump, Senator McConnell and House Speaker McCarthy - to address the division and polarization in our culture, and it went as well as you might imagine…
Read MoreToday as part of my non-existent home repair how-to series, I’m going to explain how to fix the little curvy part of the downspout that helps moves water from the gutter to the ground, in case you one day have to make the same repair.
1. Stand out in the yard looking stupidly up at the broken gutter… (click to get the rest of the steps)
Read MoreI began working talent shows in local joints like the late, pretty-good Red River Rib Company and performing at Tuesday open-mics down at Matt's (the city's pioneer comedy club) in Shockoe Slip. At Red River Rib, some in the audience were there for the two-for-one happy hour, which started at 5 p.m. By the 8 p.m. show time, the audience wasn't as much hostile as just plain hammered. The rest of the crowd had come in to support their buddy in the contest, usually the guy who played guitar and sang "Everybody Must Get Stoned" and "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw." As you can imagine, the audience-reaction scores for these acts were tough to beat.
Read MoreChip Stone, that tanned, blow-dried (is that still a thing?), vacuous anchor at the GNBNC News Vortex, is still plying his frivolous art on the airwaves (is that still a thing?). Here is his hard-hitting interview with pop culturist Bubbles O’Smoothy about the craft beer boom (and bust?). Drink it in - this interview will go down like a fine, peaty, sock-flavored IPA!
Read MoreBut my date with dermatological destiny was foretold by my ancestry and my age (that is, the age I grew up in). As a half-Irish, half-Norwegian, part-Scot, I’ve got as much skin pigment as the next ghost. Among my people, sun lamps are also known as “lamps.” I once got a nasty burn leafing through a National Geographic magazine. I remember a long two-hour drive home from Virginia Beach, car air conditioner blowing full power on my blistering face, as my parents maundered in a sing-songy Scandinavian brogue, “It’s our lot, boy! Best suffer it like the little blonde leprechaun you are.”
Read MoreA lot of people turn 60 and start thinking about death. To them, I say: Been there, done that, got the hospital gown. Thanks to OCD, I’ve spent a good chunk of my life not being able to NOT think about my mortality. But now, I’m trying to think about death more, but in a good way. Sounds weird, doesn’t it?
Read MoreOur dog Bailey LOVES Christmas. She unwraps her presents like a pro. But… Bailey doesn’t really understand whose presents are whose. Like a toddler in a viral video, after she’s torn open all 3-5 of her presents she goes after everyone else’s gifts. What started out as 10 minutes of “Awwwww isn’t she brilliant!” turns into a hour of “Stop Bailey! STOP! Wait she’s got some scotch tape! GET THE SCOTCH TAPE OUT OF HER MOUTH! Give her a bone or something to distract her! HOW DOES SHE BARK SO LOUD?” and I swear the four Baby Jesii in the assorted nativity scenes around the room have their little holy hands over their little holy ears.
Read MoreOn a recent drive with his daughter, Midlothian father Jim Cabell asked on 47 songs in a row whether a female singer is Richmond’s own Lucy Dacus.
Read MoreIT’S ALMOST LIKE WAZE KNOWS EXACTLY THE DECISIONS I’LL MAKE THAT WILL BRING ME TO MY DESTINATION AT EXACTLY THE PREDICTED TIME. [Insert music from Netflix’s Wednesday, and maybe stop shouting.]
Read MoreMan U fans, who have been vocally unhappy about the ownership of the Red Devils by the Glaser family, have gotten their wish. The team has been sold. To Washington Redskins Football Team Commanders owner Dan Snyder. We go now to Old Trafford, where Dan Snyder is taking questions from the media.
Read MoreI work fully remotely now, which means I may go into the office 6 more times before I’m done working forever. It’s awesome. I love my coworkers, truly, but there are many things about being in the office that I won’t miss, and you won’t either.
Read MoreWe are stuck with each other. We’re like two men tied tightly at the wrist, dropped into the middle of the ocean to swim for their lives. We cannot survive if we both swim in opposite directions all the time - we will exhaust each other and both die. We cannot and will not survive if we beat the crap out of each other. One of us will die and drag the other down with him.
Read MoreShe’s not watching these shows to learn about 18th Century Scotland. She’s watching these shows to see muscle-bound men in kilts run through the misty Highlands without getting filthy and spend months fighting their way through the wilderness without a shower yet somehow come out smelling like an Irish Spring.
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