How to Score: A V-Day Trilogy, Part 1
Heads up men: the high holy day of St. Valentine's Day is approaching.
Women don't understand the anxiety this holiday creates for men. It's worse even than tax day, because at least we know what the government wants from us. But women? We understand nothing: how women think, their choices, motivations, likes or dislikes - NOTHING.
Men are like the blindfolded guy who touches a section of the elephant but can't fathom its entirety. Except the elephant is actually a rodeo steer and when the guy carefully reaches out to touch the steer, the steer gores him or stomps him or throws him into the third row.
The fact that I chose a metaphor using elephants or steers to represent women only confirms the problem.
From men's perspective, if making a woman happy was a test question, it would look like this:
Question: What do women want?
A. Orange
B. 3
C. Who's on first? I don't know!
THIRD BASE!!
This wouldn't be a problem, except men really like women and want women to like us back. But we don't know what will make women like us...
Tomorrow: Men's best guess at what will make women like us.
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