The first truly effective SPAM filter
I've invented the first truly effective SPAM filter. It doesn't stop SPAM before it gets into your computer. It stops SPAM before it leaves your computer.
Here are some messages I found in my SPAM filter mailbox when I looked after a week of using it:
Wednesday, January 18
To: Wikipedia
From: Chuck
Subject: What the heck?
Body: Hey, idiots. I don't pay my monthly membership fees for Wikipedia to have you shut down for no apparent reason! How can I use Wikipedia to look up why you shut down if you're shut down?? Huh??? Geniuses????
- Thursday, January 19 To: WealthTV From: Chuck Subject: Question on your new 3D thingee Body: I read today that you are launching the WealthTV 3D lifestyle and entertainment channel. Isn't lifestyle already 3D? Although, I'll grant you, most entertainment is two-dimensional.
Friday, January 20
To: All Insurance Companies
From: Chuck
Subject: I've got something to tell you
Body: I WANT ACTION! I MEAN BUSINESS!
Saturday, January 21
To: Jim Irsey, Owner of Indianapolis Colts
From: Chuck
Subject: BIG IDEA
Body: I've got a great idea for you! Try to hire Eli Manning as your new quarterback, and get rid of Peyton Manning. It will save you money on jerseys!
Sunday, January 22
To: God
From: Chuck
Subject: Explanation please: mosquitoes and infomercials <end of message>
Body:
- Monday, January 23 To: Trend Micro Security Anti-Virus Software From: Chuck Subject: Anti-SPAM software malfunctioning Body: I want my money back! None of God's responses to my emails are getting through to me!!
- Tuesday, January 24 To: PRE-VENT-U Anti-Spam Software From: Chuck Subject: RIP-OFF Body: I want my money back! Not a single email of mine has gotten out of my computer since I started using this program!!