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I noticed the other day that our local news talk radio station has sold the naming rights to its studio (I think it's the Alan Furs Studio - I'm not sure how that affects their coverage of PETA), as well as named sponsorships for their traffic reports, weather reports and who knows what else.

College football on ESPN has the Miller Lite Good Call Bad Call segment. Then there are the bowls: the Beef 'O Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl, the AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl, and the Godaddy.com Bowl (in which the teams play topless, in alignment with the company's take-all-your-clothes-off branding, which of course immediately brings to mind good web hosting services).

All this led to the realization that I am missing out on tremendous sponsorship opportunities. So I am announcing the availability of a number of exclusive sponsorships for Chuck Hansen: Speaker, Writer, Humorist...:

  • Sponsor my Laptop for $100! Example: "I am writing to you today from the All-Star Automotive Laptop!"
  • Sponsor my Office Chair for $500! (This is more expensive due to high, repeated repair bills for this piece of equipment) Example: "My funny butt is resting at this moment on the Pepto-Bismol Office Chair."
  • My actual name - $1000 - "Hi, I'm glad to be here today as your motivational speaker. My name is Chuck Meineke Car Care Hansen!"

Other potential sponsorships, for example:

  • "Sorry, I'll have to call you back. My He Went to Jared Jewelry Store Dog is barking and I can't hear you."
  • "If you have to use the restroom, our Built Tough Chevy Truck Toilet is down the hall."
  • "These are our two children: Doritos and Tostitos."

I am WIDE OPEN to possibilities here. Please contact me if you have any ideas. Just email me at chuckSearsApplianceRepair@chuckSearsApplianceRepairhansen.com.

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