Headline Humor for Monday, March 7, 2011

  • NASA: Rocket probably in Ocean after Failed Launch – http://ow.ly/49tyT – PROBABLY????????
  • 63% Under 30 Admit Driving While on Phone – http://ow.ly/49tD8 – 20% of those surveyed in phone poll were driving at the time.
  • Sen. Kerry: Prepare But Don’t Yet Implement No-Fly Zone – http://ow.ly/49tFV – So he’s both for and against the no-fly zone?
  • Kathy Griffin Says She’s Dating Old Spice Guy- http://ow.ly/49tJi – Griffin then calls his mom a wh*re, but it’s OK cause she’s a comedian.
  • Armies of Expensive Lawyers, Replaced by Cheaper Software – http://ow.ly/49tPL – In response, American Bar Association vows to sue “Technology.”

This has been Headline Humor for Monday, March 7, 2011. Have a great day!!.

Technological Revolution

Last month, after executing the military coup that deposed dictator President Hosni Mubarak, one of the first things that the Egyptian military did was… set up a Facebook page. Check it out at www.facebook.com/ELGayesh.Elmasry.

Read the whole story about revolutions, Twitter and the Egyptian Military’s relationship status in my latest column in the Chesterfield Observer: http://bit.ly/ij4TCK, which went live today..

Headline Humor for Wednesday, March 2, 2011


SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to concerns about reader health and sanity, the Headline Humor segment has been declared a “Sheen-Free Zone.” Please feel free to come to the Headline Humor segment with your children, your parents, your first-grade teacher the little … Continue reading

Headline Humor – Thursday, Feb. 24, 2011


On Vegas airline, holographs of Vegas stars give safety briefings –http://ow.ly/42Aty. So let me get this straight – Deano and Sammy are gone but we’re stuck with Wayne Newton and Carrot Top forever? Holograms could give virtual meetings new life-http://ow.ly/42AK6. … Continue reading

Am I the only one who has trust issues with the mute button?

I will get into an aluminum tube fully aware it is going to be launched 33,000 feet in the air at 500 miles per hour.
I will pay bills online, transferring huge sums of cash (DOZENS of dollars) from my bank account to a business using my computer, never even seeing the money.
I will research a vacation location and make pricey reservations (again, DOZENS of dollars) site unseen, based solely on information I find on Internet.
But I cannot trust the mute button. When I’m on a phone call and someone in the room asks me a question, I hit the mute button and then whisper my answer. Then I freak out and double check that the mute button was on. Then I turn it off, then on, then off, then turn it on again and test it by barking at it in progressively louder shouts: “hey. Hey. Hey! HEY!”
And GOD KNOWS I will not… um… visit the facilities… when the only thing separating me from becoming a legend in the “Conference Call Faux Pas Hall of Fame” is that (obviously unreliable) mute button.
I mean, I’ll put my faith in technology and risk death, bankruptcy and a bad vacation, but I’m not crazy.