When last we left John and God, they had agreed to meet the next morning so that
God could dictate an important story to John.
The next morning, John rose early, well before the sunrise, and moved quietly about his family’s hut, getting dressed, grabbing some fruit for breakfast, and putting on his sandals. Despite his efforts at stealth, John’s movements woke his wife.
“Where are you going?” she murmured.
“I, uh, have to go see… a guy,” John answered.
“A guy?” his wife asked, eyes opening more. “Who?”
“Um…,” John hesitated. “It’s, uh, a guy I know.”
“It’s God,” John admitted.
“God?” his wife replied, wide awake. “It’s not that Ba’al, is it?”
“Oh, no, no!” John exclaimed.
“OK,” his wife said. “Well, on your way back, pick up some berries and twigs. Your parents are coming over tonight.”
John walked along the path leading from his village, chewing on some “happy beans” and carrying a number of soft clay tablets and several stiff reeds to make impressions in the clay with. After some time, he approached the spot of the prior day’s meeting and began looking around for signs of God. None were apparent.
“AAAAHHHHH!!!!” John jumped, badly startled again. “Don’t DO that God!”
“Sorry, sorry, but I’m not sure how I can avoid startling you,” God said. “You probably could due with less caffeine in the morning anyway.”
“Nevermind,” God said. “Are you ready to write?”
“Yes,” John said as he carefully put down all but one tablet and one reed. He then settled cross-legged in a dry, firm spot of dirt and prepared to write.
God began. “I am going to tell you the story of how I created the world and everything in it.”
“Oh boy!” John exclaimed eagerly.
“OK, here we go,” God said.
“In the beginning, I created a Universe that was uniformly comprised of matter and marked by very high energy density, incredibly high temperatures and massive pressures. This Universe was rapidly expanding and cooling. Within milliseconds, there was an astronomical (hee hee) cosmic inflation and the Universe grew exponentially. This resulted in a prevalence of quark–gluon plasma, and all other elementary particles, and there was continuous creation and destruction of particle–antiparticle pairs due to collisions.
“Now – this part is important – after just the right amount of time, a reaction called baryogenesis violated the conservation of baryon number, which naturally led a very small excess of quarks and leptons over antiquarks and antileptons. Of course, this resulted in the predominance of matter over antimatter in the present Universe. Good thing, that! Am I right?
“Anywho, the Universe naturally continued to grow in size and fall in temperature, therefore, the typical energy of each particle was decreasing. Within a few more milliseconds, quarks and gluons combined to form baryons such as protons and neutrons.
“The temperature was now no longer high enough to create new proton–antiproton pairs or neutrons–antineutrons, so it goes without saying that a mass annihilation of these pairs immediately followed, and then a similar mass annihilation of electrons and positrons.
“After a few minutes, neutrons combined with protons to
form the Universe’s deuterium and helium nuclei. BUT, most protons remained uncombined as hydrogen nuclei – this becomes important later, you’ll see.
“Following that, I allowed about 379,000 years to go by, during which time the electrons and nuclei combined into atoms – mostly hydrogen, as you would expect.
“Over a long period of time, the slightly denser regions of the nearly uniformly distributed matter gravitationally attracted nearby matter and thus grew even denser, forming gas clouds, stars, galaxies, and the other astronomical structures.*
God looked up at John, who wasn’t writing.
“Did you get that?” God asked.
“Well,” John replied sheepishly. “After ‘In the beginning I created…,’ I kind of lost you.”
*Author’s Note: Not having direct access to God for this explanation, I adapted this from Wikipedia...